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Why I am Becoming Me – For the Last Time

There’s never really been a time that I can remember being happy with my physical appearance, other than just being a “pretty face”.

While larger and voluptuous women are becoming more mainstream, in a way, I still don’t want this physique to be the way I remember.

I see the pictures, I am appalled at how large I’ve gotten, again; hopefully for the last time.

I’ve done the diets, I’ve done the weight programs, I’ve tried pills and powders, I could never get my head or self-control into any eating disorder, other than over eating or not eating anything nourishing.

2012 is the year of big things in my life, I moved out of my parents how, for the last time, got married, graduated, turned 24 and now I’m going to become the person I’ve always wanted to see in the mirror.

This is a personal journey, it’s not for my husband, although, I doubt he won’t benefit from it :), it’s not for my family or because of my family, it’s not for friends, it’s not for appearances, it’s not even really about the health, although my body will benefit from this too, it’s just for me, it’s what I want out of my life and gosh darn it, I’m gonna do it.

I’m starting this blog, more as a journal, but also maybe I can share this with someone else who’s gone through the same thing and needs a little bit of encouragement.

The one thing I know is that this is a daily decision to live a better life and I know I’m gonna struggle with it and I know there will be times when I wanna quit or quite simply I forget about this.
But that’s not the point, the point is that I’m trying to be the best version of me that I can be, and taking care of my body to the extent that I see fit and want to aspire to is all a part of that.

I don’t currently own a scale, and the numbers aren’t what’s important to me. I want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I see, I know that’s a long way away. I want to look and see something more than a pretty face. So I’m going to try a bunch of things, some different eating habits, some at-home exercises and I’m going to discover what living a healthy, happy, beautiful life really means to me.